Negative energy from a neighbor

I’m upset.

There is a neighbor on our street that seems to find the negative in everything, and she holds on to negative events for months and months. So I hear about the broken mailbox over and over, and I hear about what the town does wrong. However, deep down she seems to be a sweet lady, simply troubled by events in her life. So I listen. I know I have the patience to listen and sometimes she offers me gems of information that helps me, a newcomer to the neighborhood.

This time, however, I should have stopped our chat sooner.

The conversation turned to the kids playing on the street. She could’t believe that the parents (of which she acknowledged I am one) are not right out on the street watching them. “They are alone on the street,” she says. “The neighborhood is dangerous, all neighborhoods are dangerous.”

As she’s speaking I can feel my back stiffen. I know it is because she is accusing me of poor parenting, though I also know our quiet, beautiful cul-de-sac has plenty of neighbor activity and I DO watch my children, though sometimes from inside. I try to let it go, ignore her comment and rally my confidence in my own parenting choices.

I say, “I disagree. I think this is a safe neighborhood, and my children know the rules and how to behave around strangers.”

“But we need to have safe practices, all the time.”

I defend, “we teach our children what is safe and what is not safe.”

But then she says, “a strange van could go in your driveway and knock on your door. A man could come up to one of your kids and ask them to look for his lost puppy.”

I interrupted, “my children know how to handle that exact situation! But I don’t really want to continue this conversation.” Feeling more defensive, still protective of my parenting skills, and now feeling protective of my own children.

She pushes back, “but he could have a cloth with chloriform and could shove it in their faces!”

Ooooohhhhh!!!! And with defensiveness, anxiety and now crazy fear that there is a minute chance that this could happen in an otherwise safe world, I stomped away and shouted back to her, “That is NOT GOING to HAPPEN HERE! We are in a SAFE neighborhood!”

As I walk away I am surprised I’m almost in tears. I know I feel her fear, literally feel it, and I haven’t protected myself enough. For a split second the world is an evil place full of bad people, but I shut it down quickly and notice the beauty in our neighborhood, trying to regain composure.

Knowing this negative energy was now physically invading my body, I had to escape fast. I usually ground myself sufficiently to prepare for a chat with her, and I always listen for the positive, but I didn’t do enough this time.

Walking into my house my throat felt raw (my throat always expresses my stress). I made myself some tea.

Maybe I overreacted? I hope not. We chose this neighborhood less than a year ago, after much research, for our children.