Love embraces and comforts. Judgement constricts and condemns.
People grow up forming opinions of right and wrong in the world. When someone forms an opinion without understanding what they believe, the opinion can turn into a judgement. This limits their capacity be open and loving and restricts their ability to receive love too, because it blocks the way to connect more fully with others.
Be conscious of your opinions and understand why you have them. Ensure they come from an authentic place.
For example, Barbara, 49 and a mother to two teenage girls, moved to a beautiful suburban street with well kept lawns except for one property. She and her next-door neighbors scorned the person who lived among the dandelions and bare-patched lawn. One day she observed an ambulance in their driveway. When she walked over, curious about the emergency, a young lady came out.
“Is everything ok?” Barbara asked.
“It will be. My mother has been living here for years and as she gets older she can’t care for herself so easily. Unfortunately I live out of town and don’t visit as often as I’d like. Once the doctors make sure she’s ok, I’ll move her to a residential home closer to my house. In the meantime, my brother will come over and tidy up her place. Her biggest heartache is she can’t garden anymore.”
Barbara felt awful. Not only had she not bothered to check on her neighbor, but she had judged her based on the state of her lawn.
By passing judgement, we limit the potential to express ourselves completely and we fail to perceive the full expression of others. We also miss out on opportunities to meet wonderful people.
Barbara offered to help the neighbor’s son do some weeding to clean up the front yard and, fortunately, forgave herself for her judgment. She resolved to know more in the future before forming a strong opinion.
The next time you feel yourself forming an opinion, ask yourself which root belief it is tied to. Ensure it comes from an authentic place within and serves to increase love in the world.
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2 Comments
As humans we are so quick to jump into judgement. We just never know what really is going on in someones' else's life or why things appear the way they do unless it's our place to ask. I love the title of this post because when we do come from our authentic selves we are less likely to judge and more likely to look at something, someone or a problem with deeper lenses; with a deeper understanding finding a truer more appropriate solution.
You are right, Carol and Stacy. We are quick to jump! I think it might be our default – a way we learn how to measure things in our world as we grow up. But it is up to us to move past this auto-pilot.
And as you say, a little understanding helps us find a better solution.
Thanks for your comment!
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